Ten Vital Mistakes before Korean marriage

With the divorce rate over 50%, it is obvious that too many people are making the wrong decision for their Koreanlife partner. To avoid becoming a "statistic", remember and avoid the following most common mistakes people make when choosing the right Korean Woman to spend the rest of their life with.

1. Mistake number one – Never Marry Potential with a Korean Woman!

That is a classic mistake! Single men marry the wrong Korean Women because they expect him/her to change after marriage. Repeat the following sentence to yourself at least three times before you decide to take this serious step in your life:

If you don't feel that you can be happy with the Korean Woman as they are now, then don't get married. If there’s something that you don’t like about the person, something that you wish to be different in the future (like religion, bad habits, bad communication skills, or even something about personal hygiene), you’re setting yourself up for a potential mistake.

2. Mistake number two - Chemistry vs. Character

The second reason why single men marry the Koreanlady is that people tend to focus more on chemistry than on character. Yes, chemistry ignites the fire, but the good character is what keeps it burning. Now, remember this: Love is NOT enough and can NEVER be the reason for getting married. This may sound devoid of sense and logic but the truth is that knowing one’s character and being perfectly aware of whether you can live with it is of prime importance when taking the decision of getting married. Here are four very important characteristics that you should look for in a Korean marriage:

KoreanHumility: A foreign women who possesses this quality puts principles above convenience and believes that "doing the right thing" is more important than personal comfort.

Kindness in your Korean bride: A second character trait to look in Korean Women for would be kindness. Kindness means that you’re a giver; in other words if a person is truly kind, s/he would be committed to giving pleasure and minimizing pain. But how do you know if someone is truly a kind person? See how they treat people in their family, their siblings, and their parents. How much gratitude do they have toward their parents? Look at how they treat little people and how they treat people they don't have to be nice to. And, in a subtle yet clear way, try to find out their reputation. Are they nice? Are they mean? Are they high-pressured?

Responsibility: You certainly don’t want to marry an irresponsible person. So how do you know if a Korean Woman is responsible? Check out their work history. Do they have a stable work history? Do they have stable friendships? Do they have long-term friendships? You should ask yourself the question —Can I depend on this person and can I trust this person to do what s/he says s/he's going to do?

Happiness: A fourth character trait to look for would be happiness. If you can find a really happy Korean bride, someone who is just basically content with life, who enjoys life, and who is emotionally stable – that’s a quality person right there.

Ask yourself: Do I want to be more like this person? Do I want to have a child with this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?

3. Mistake number three - Lack of Common Purpose

The third reason why people marry the wrong person is that you don’t share a common life purpose, or common priorities and commitments. There are three basic ways we connect with another Korean Woman:

  1. Chemistry and compatibility with your Korean bride.
  2. share common interests
  3. share common life goal

Make sure you share a deeper level of connection that sharing life goals provide. After a Korean marriage, the two of you will either grow together or grow apart. Two people that share a common life purpose in Korea have a much greater chance of growing together. After all this is the true definition of a soul mate – a person who ultimately shares the same understanding of life's purpose and therefore shares the same priorities, values and goals.

4. Mistake number four - Lack of Emotional Connection with your Korean lady.

You have to evaluate how deep the connection is on an emotional level with Korean brides. So how do you know if you have a connection with a person in a deeper emotional way? Just ask yourself: "Do I respect and admire this person?" This does not mean, "Am I impressed by this person?" We are impressed by a car. We do not respect someone because s/he owns that car. Yes, you should be impressed by qualities of creativity, loyalty, determination, etc., but do you actually respect and admire this person who possesses these qualities? Also ask: "Do I trust this person?", “Do I feel emotionally safe with him/her?” If the answer is “yes” – you are good to go. But if the answer is “I’m not sure”, or “I don’t know”, then make sure you keep evaluating and analyzing your feelings until you understand what you really feel.

5. Mistake number five – Emotional Anxiety

The fifth reason why people marry the wrong person is that they tend to choose someone with whom they don’t feel emotionally safe. Feeling emotionally safe is a foundation of any healthy and solid relationship. A person who doesn’t feel safe with another person is someone who feels that s/he cannot express her/his feelings and opinion. You should not feel you need to monitor what you say because you are afraid of how the other person will view it. If you're afraid to express your feelings and opinion openly, there's a problem with your relationship.

Another aspect of feeling safe is that you don't feel the other person is trying to control you. Controlling behaviors are a sign of an abusive person. Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you. There is a big difference between "controlling" and "making suggestions." A suggestion is made for your benefit; a control statement is made for his/her benefit.

6. Mistake number six - Lack of Openness

The sixth mistake that people make is that they don’t put everything on the table for discussion with Korean Women. You have to discuss everything that bothers you about the relationship. Bringing up the uncomfortable stuff is the only way to evaluate how well the two of you communicate, negotiate, and work together. Over the course of a lifetime, difficulties will inevitably arise. You need to know now, before making a commitment, that you can resolve your differences and find compromises that work for both of you.

7. Mistake number seven - Avoiding Personal Responsibility

The seventh mistake people make is that they tend to use the relationship to avoid taking responsibility for their personal problems and unhappiness. The fact is that if you are an unhappy person when you are single, you will be unhappy when married, too. Only you (and certainly not your spouse) are responsible for your happiness. Marriage does not fix personal, psychological and emotional problems. If you are not happy with yourself and your life, take responsibility to fix it while you are single, and before marriage.

8. Mistake number eight – Too Early Sexual Involvement

The eight reason why people marry the wrong Korean Woman, is that they get involved sexually too quickly. When you have been involved with someone sexually, it tends to make it more difficult to start thinking about more important areas like character and life philosophy. It even makes it difficult for people to face these issues because once they have made this level of commitment, they are afraid to bring up issues. “After all, we’ve been living together, we’ve been sleeping together. How can I possibly think about questioning the person’s life goals at this point, or questioning their character?” or “You slept with me and now you’re questioning my character?”. So, for practical reasons, it is better to hold off on sexual involvement.

9. Mistake number nine - Obscure Emotional Needs

Men and Korean Women have unique emotional needs and more often than not, it is the man who just doesn't get it. The unique need of a woman is to be loved. She needs to feel that she is the most important person in her husband's life. The husband needs to give her consistent, quality attention.

Sexual intimacy is always on the woman's terms. Men are goal oriented especially when it comes to this area. In contrast to men, women are experience oriented. When a man is able to become more experience-oriented, he will discover what makes his wife very happy.

10. Mistake number ten - Triangulation

One of the most tragic mistakes that people make is to pick a person who is emotionally dependent on someone or something else. A person who hasn't separated from his or her parents is a classic example of triangulation. Not only can people be triangulated with people, they can also be triangulated with things, such as work, drugs, Internet, hobbies, sports or money. Be careful that you and your partner are free of triangles and are fully emotionally available to each other.

9. Always let someone else know where you're going

Make sure a friend knows whom you are meeting, where you're going and when you're coming back. You might even consider arranging a time to call and check in. Or you could arrange to meet up with friends later that night. Keep all the e-mail and let your friend know where to find them if anything goes wrong.

10. Take a cellular phone with you to korea


11. Use your own mode of transportation

And leave with a full tank. Don’t let them pick you up from your home nor escort you home.

12. Never leave public areas or go home with your Koreandate

Stay in public until you know the person better.

13. Be careful when drinking around Korean ladies.

Remember that alcohol affects your judgment and lessens your inhibitions. If you are drinking, keep your drink in sight at all times and don’t get so drunk that you don’t know what you are doing.

14. Trust your intuition

If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. And if you haven’t met him before, and you know at the beginning of the date that something doesn’t feel right, then leave immediately.

15. Report any attacks or threats

Don't be embarrassed to report problems to the police. Remember, if you don't report them, the same thing could happen to someone else. Also, report any problems to the Koreanonline dating service you have used.


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